Recently my wife Linda and I met with our lawyer to update our wills. Having moved to Florida over two years ago, we decided to make sure our wills conformed to Florida state law. While we were in his office, we reviewed the details of the documents: who will serve as executor, who gets what, where a special painting will go if our children don't want it, how we will remember the church. The usual details. We also considered our living wills and made sure our health concerns would be properly addressed.
Even when I do premarital counseling with very young couples, I recommend that they have wills drawn up. For dying intestate, dying without your wishes being made known in a will, can lead to all kinds of confusion and heartache.
But while it is certainly sad when someones tangible possessions get passed on to the wrong people, or worse yet, not passed on at all but taken by the state, it is even more of a tragedy if the intangibles are lost. We all have certain values, traditions and priorities that we hope will be carried on after we are gone. We all have beliefs that we hope will not die with us, but rather will continue to strengthen humanity long after our demise. If we die without a will, our possessions may end up in the wrong hands, but at least they will not disappear from the face of the earth. But if we have not seen to it that that our values, beliefs and traditions are transmitted to those who survive us, then we do run the real risk that those intangibles will fade into history.
Obviously, one of the ways we assure that such intangibles are preserved for the future is in and through the institutions we support--our faith communities, our schools, our civic clubs and community organizations. But on a more personal level, we may feel a bit stymied. How can we make sure that our children, and their children, our friends and others, will know and understand what's important to us? We can tell them personally, but sometimes things hold more weight, and are better remembered, if they are in writing. That's where something called an ethical will comes into play.
An ethical will is a document that records the stories, the sayings, the explanations of who we are and what we have learned about life. An ethical will shares your most cherished values with those who survive you. I don't have an ethical will, but I've decided I need to create one. Maybe you do too. A helpful website if you decide to take on the task can be found at www.ethicalwill.com.
There are many ways we can make certain that we avoid dying intestate, but this may be the most important way of all.
Well said!
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