Ferguson, Race and Great Aunt Ruth

My grandmother's brother was named Jim.  Jim Huntington.  He was a big man--and he loved to laugh.  He ran a garage--a Texaco station--in Vermont.  And his wife, my Great Aunt Ruth, kept the books.


Uncle Jim and Aunt Ruth had a cottage--a camp, as we New Englanders called such places--on Lake Champlain.  And every year for many summers my family would spend part of August with them there.  And Aunt Ruth did most of the cooking.  There was always lots to eat.  Meat, potatoes, and corn on the cob, the golden produce of late summer.  And baked goods.  Aunt Ruth made the best yeast rolls, marvelous cakes and pies.  It was, as they say, "to die for."


Uncle Jim loved Ruth's cooking, as his round belly proved every time he pulled up to the table.  But he was forever teasing her about it in the way that husbands sometimes tease their wives.  It was gentle, and good natured.  I think it was his way of saying "I love you, Ruthie!"  That's what he called her, "Ruthie."


One day, at the age of ten or so, I decided to join in the fun.  And so I started to heckle Aunt Ruth about the way she'd burned the supper.  She hadn't, of course.  I was just teasing, like Jim did all the time.  But Ruth didn't take it that way. In fact, she burst into tears and ran out into the kitchen.  Someone went to get her, to urge her to come back to dinner while my Dad took me aside and made it very clear that while I may have thought it was all in good fun, Aunt Ruth hadn't.  In fact she was very hurt.  I apologized, and Ruth forgave me my ignorance, and so it we resumed dinner.


I think I've told this story before, here in the pages of this blog.  But it's August--and I'm on vacation--and so it's little wonder I thought of it when I saw a report in today's paper about a poll taken by the Pew Research Center.  It seems that among blacks, 80% feel that the situation in Ferguson, Missouri "raises important racial issues," while 37% of whites think it is "getting more attention than it deserves."  (USA Today, 8-22-14, 3A)


I didn't think I was saying or doing anything wrong when I teased Aunt Ruth.  But Ruth did.  And so we had a problem.  A real problem.  The sort of problem, had it not been properly handled by Uncle Jim and my parents, which could have resulted in a serious family rift.  (Such things happen all the time!)  Whether you think we have a problem in Ferguson or not, whether you think it raises racial issues or not, the fact that so many people do means it does.  Period.  And how it is handled will make all the difference in the family called America.