I miss my friend
Barry. He's not dead--he just lives in
New Jersey. Which I realize some folks
think is as good as being dead--but I lived there for ten years, and found that
I really loved the place. Such a
wonderful mix of seaside beaches, fields of corn and tomatoes and city
life. But I'm not here to do a Chamber
of Commerce pitch for the Garden State.
I'm here to tell you about Barry.
Did you ever have a
friend with whom you really didn't have a lot in common, yet you hit it off
beautifully? Barry and I are like
that. I'm a pastor--I've devoted my life
to matters of faith and religion.
Barry--while certainly very respectful of religion, is not what I would
call religious. Barry is an
accountant--and a darn good one at that.
I, though I recently completed a four year stint as treasurer of my Rotary Club, am less than
enamored with numbers! I love baseball
and the Red Sox--Barry is a football fan, and follows the Green Bay
Packers. Barry met his wife while they
were still kids--Linda and I met when we were adults with children of our own. I
ride a bike--Barry lifts weights. He's politically conservative and I--am decidedly
not! I read the New York Times--he reads the Wall Street Journal. You would think with all those
disparities we would have a hard time connecting. But the truth is, some of the deepest and
most meaningful conversations I've ever had have been with Barry. What's the old saying--steel sharpens steel? The secret, I think, is that we both have a
deep and abiding respect for each other.
And we both understand that the other has a well-thought out and caring
point of view. We both long for a day
when the world is set right--we just see different paths to getting there!
Barry and I would go
out to dinner with our wives, or sometimes party with other couples as
well. But the times when our
conversations were the most rich were the long nights we shared hosting the
homeless. The church I served in New
Jersey was part of a coalition of faith communities that provided emergency
shelter for homeless men and women. The
hosting congregation would provide space for cots, a hot dinner, breakfast, a
brown bag lunch and two volunteers to stay overnight. A recliner was provided for the volunteers,
who could take turns sleeping if they wanted--but both Barry and I usually stayed
up most of the night talking about everything and anything. Politics, religion, politics, social issues, politics and sports. When I'd come home Linda would ask if the two
of us had managed to solve the world's problems overnight.
As the night wore on,
our conversation would begin to slow down a bit as fatigue set in. But gradually we would notice out the kitchen
windows there in the church basement, the darkness beginning to fade. And then, to the east, the light would begin
to grow brighter, as we approached sunrise.
When we finally dismissed those in our care and stepped outside,
depending on the time of year, it was not unusual for us to be greeted by the
golds and pinks of the dawn. It wasn't a
sunrise over the ocean, but in its own Jersey sort of way, it was a thing of
beauty--and a symbol of the hope we held in our hearts that the homeless folks
we had gotten to know a bit overnight, would have a brighter day than the one
before, that they would find a job, or permanent housing, or reconciliation
with family.
Henry David Thoreau once
said, "We must learn to . . . keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical
aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn." That's what kept Barry and I awake. That's what kept us going those long dark
Jersey nights. Hope for the
future--and an "infinite
expectation of the dawn." For each
in our own way, Barry and I both believe God can and will work to bring about a
better world. Despite our dramatic
differences, Barry and I both believe that the dawn will come.
Many deep conversations take place as dawn brightens the day. How wonderful that you had a comrade to share with. Thanks for sharing that little story.
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