Scrupulosity. If there is one word that sums up much of Pastor Katie Langston's memoir recounting her journey from being a lay person in the Church of Jesus Christ--Latter Day Saints, to being a clergy person in the Lutheran Church, it is scrupulosity. If there is a second word it is grace.
Scrupulosity, according to Webster is all about "acting in strict regard for what is considered right or proper." Emphasis on strict. Emotionally it can lead to a great measure of anxiety, as it does in Langston's case. Time and time again over the course of her childhood, adolescence and early adulthood she obsesses about whether or not she has obeyed the rules of the Mormon church. In fascinating detail she outlines the rituals, liturgies, and expectations of one of the fastest growing religious traditions in the world. And, in doing so, she highlights its theology. A theology that in her opinion, ultimately led to her scrupulosity. After recalling many of her early struggles reconciling theology and practice, she writes: "I'd spent my childhood consumed with effort and anxiety, but confidence in my salvation still escaped me. It was a worry that was always at the back of my mind: what if I'll never be enough?" (87)
Eventually Langston has an experience, a conversion experience if you will, that convinces her that God's love is greater than her worries and concerns, that she is accepted and loved regardless of her efforts. She understands it to be grace, leading to the full title of her volume: Sealed: An Unexpected Journey Into the Heart of Grace. Over time Langston senses a call to ordained ministry, which in time leads to her attending seminary and being ordained as a Lutheran pastor. Appropriately Lutheran, I would suggest. As her struggles with scrupulosity mirror those experiences by none other that Martin Luther himself.
Langston describes the various challenges her leaving behind Mormonism led to, especially in her own family. Yet she also speaks again and again about the ways her relationships were healed over the years despite the major theological and institutional differences with most of her family. She also, unlike many accounts written by ex-members of various faith communities, recognizes the positive gifts she has received due to her Mormon upbringing. Mormonism, she writes, taught her to value "connections, togetherness, horde for unity . . . ." (234)
I have Mormon friends who time and again have shown me the beauty of their faith. I disagree with the theology of the Church of Jesus Christ--Latter Day Saints, but I can't help but admire and respect the unqualified devotion those friends have. I am moved by the way they give of themselves time and again to help their fellow believers. Like the time one friend moved clear across country as a single woman and who was given enormous amounts of help from the members' of her new ward (congregation) as she moved into a new community. I suspect Langston would understand far better than I the admirable qualities of members of her former community, while still needing to move into a new way of relating to the holy. Her well-written and compelling story is worth reading by any who wrestle with what it means to be a person of faith.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.
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