Collecting Billboards

My wife Linda and I are on a road trip, and part of the drive took us right through the heart of Dixie: northern Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky . . . and all along the way there were billboards. Lots and lots of billboards. Despite television and the Internet, there are many folks, apparently, who still want to get their message across the old-fashioned way!

There are, of course, all sorts of billboards advertising services for travelers: fast-food joints, motels, and so on. My favorite motel billboard along the way promoted a "midnight rate" available after 9:00 PM. Why not call it the nine o'clock rate?

I was surprised, considering the part of the country through which we were traveling, at the number of billboards advertising so-called adult bookstores, video stores and so on. There were several signs for Cafe Risque, a few for the Lion's Den Adult Superstore, and one for a club with strippers "as featured on the Jerry Springer show!" Now there's an endorsement I'd want to avoid! And would someone please explain to me why anyone would promote a liquor store with a drive-thru?

I saw lots of billboards for medical services. There was one offering hair transplants for "$2 a graft" (it would cost me a small fortune!) Then there was the Georgia Dental Center that had a sale going on with "half-price implants." (I just don't think I'd ever buy discounted teeth!) And in an example of extremely poor taste (I'm not making this up) there was a billboard for the Amputee Prosthetic Clinic with a over sized picture of Captain Hook!

Religion is also present on these roadside signs. I spotted many anti-abortion billboards. But there was an occasional liberal message. One I especially liked suggested using Desmond Tutu as a model for living. There was a sign that simply said, "The Way, the Truth, the Life . . . Jesus Christ." And then one designed to provoke the viewer. "HELL" it said in large letters. Then, in a smaller font: " I haven't thought about that lately . . . ."

I'm not sure what all these billboards say about the south, or America for that matter. But while they make for some interesting reading, the best billboards ended up being the ones that weren't there. For America, despite being spoiled in spots by too much signage, is indeed, a beautiful country!