Diet Coke, Death and Caskets

BJ's, Sam's Club, Costco--they're all pretty much the same.  You don't get waited on, per se.  It's all do-it-yourself.  The decor is Spartan at best.  It's true, the prices are often a real steal, but the inventory is unpredictable at best.

They carry some of this and some of that.  Most of it in bulk.  Gallon jars of mayonnaise.  Number ten sized tins of cling peaches in heavy syrup.  Eighteen roll packages of toilet paper.  Sometimes they have electronics, tires and best-selling books.  Sometimes patio furniture, huge packages of t-shirts and cases of motor oil.  You never know for sure what's going to show up on the sales floor.  So no one should be really surprised to learn that among the items offered for sale at Costco are caskets.  That's right, caskets.  Oblong, metal coffins perfect for burial--and priced under a thousand dollars, considerably cheaper than most funeral parlors.

The "In God's Care Casket," as an example, is offered for $949--delivered!  That, of course, is standard shipping.  Expedited shipping costs you a bit more.  And, as the caskets are basically an on-line item, you need to place your order by 11:00 AM EST.  Death, and now it turns out Costco, waits for no man or woman!

Of course, you can buy it in advance, store it in your attic or garage until needed and be assured of today's price.  Truly a matter of being prepared!

Now the idea of picking up a coffin along with a case of Diet Coke and a jumbo pack of Twinkies (yes, they are back!) may repulse you--even if it is all on-line!  On the other hand, you may be thinking, "Well, it's about tiome!  Even caskets should be competively priced."  But either way, the reality is that it wasn't that long ago that such a thing would have been totally impossible.  Not because of any law or regulation preventing such sales, but rather because it was considered impolite to even talk about death and dying.  So the things of death--like caskets--were hidden away.

I probably won't place an advance order with Costco for a casket.  Partly due to the fact that I plan on being cremated.  (But fret not, they can take care of that as well.  Urns are also on sale, including the "American Pride Adult Urn," complete with an etched US flag and eagle for only $89.99!)  But I for one am glad that as a society we are more willing to talk openly about the end of life.  I am glad we have things like hospice, and advance directives.  The truth is, being open about death makes for a better life.  Before or after 11:00 AM EST.